you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
