I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
