do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
