well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She bit a glass in half.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
