Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
