How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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