then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
