Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
