I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
