in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
