Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
