if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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