Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
sarcasm needs its own font
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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