The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
