She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
