it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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