Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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