I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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