okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
this must be what syphilis tastes like
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
