Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
