Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
