"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
