Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't deserve a penis
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
