6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
