Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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