I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm like, not good at living.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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