It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
