So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
