Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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