you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I am naked and annoyed.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
