Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize