I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
