she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
