I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
