He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I AM VODKA MAN
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
