I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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