I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
