A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
