He is an equal opportunity slut.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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