So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
