I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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