i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize