Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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