hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
