is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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