he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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