Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm jealous of your bromance
zippers are such a cool invention
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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