What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
