i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
