that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
