i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I want a musical about memes.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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