wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
