Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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