READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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