I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
