Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
