sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
