Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize