I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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