Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
