Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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