i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
