no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
