i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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