I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
